Contentment

I've always had a love/hate relationship with my birthday. I love planning a party, thinking about all the little things I plan to do and getting all the little details ironed out. Unfortunately I usually actually spend my birthday pretty unhappy because either things didn't go as planned or even if they did, they didn't make me as happy as I'd predicted. My disappointment in my birthday led me to not planning anything last year, thinking it'd make it easier. Guess what? I still spent the day grumbling and being a grump despite numerous texts and calls and facebook messages wishing me well and saying Happy Birthday.

But really, I'm also this way in life. I build up these expectations for my life: I have all the details in my head and a timeline of when all of these things are supposed to happen planned perfectly! And somehow I'm 19 and not sure where the time is gone and why haven't I accomplished anything yet. Why am I not the put-together, successful, living the dream grown-up I'd thought I'd be by now?

Now, from the outside, much like my birthday parties, I realize my life is pretty spectacular. I'm living on my own, working for an incredible company, making efforts to pursue my passion and I only live an hour from the beach. Not too shabby for a horrifically shy homeschooled kid from New Mexico.
So why am I never content with where I am? Why is there always this aching feeling that my plans aren't coming to pass and so everything is ruined? Because I want things done on MY timeline, in MY way and everything to be PERFECT and filled with chocolate!
I ask God sometimes, should I just forget it? Should I not try since I always seem to be disappointed in the way things turn out? Why can't You just give me the things I want when I want them? Oh, and could you PLEASE make chocolate more readily available?
But that's not the way He works, and He continually reminds me of this.

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the Lord. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." - Isaiah 55:8-9

"For I know the plans I have for you" says the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

Ok. So, He's got plans that are better than mine. I get that. But in the moment, they don't always look better. Sometimes my plans seem like the easier way, the more exciting way, and from my tiny perspective that's what I want. So how do I keep from getting disappointed? How do I shift my gaze from the disappointment of the here and now to a higher view? Well, what does God say to do in EVERYTHING?

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. - 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good!
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to the God of gods.
His faithful love endures forever.
Gives thanks to the Lord of lords.
His faithful love endures forever. - Psalm 136:1-3

Being thankful is a HUGE theme. I mean you could list a ton of verses that mention thankfulness, it's ridiculous. And why is it such a huge deal? Because most of the time we treat our lives like I treat my birthday: too busy wondering why I don't have the perfect day that I don't see the outpouring of love I'm being given.

So give thanks. His faithful love endures forever. And that is a way bigger deal than getting a birthday cake.
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